When you told me this

everything was done

I tried to not lie to you

but I failed

 

When you left me like this

by lying a tender kiss on my cheek

I realized everything we've done

was finally over

 

When you talked to me

again in the mid of a night

the words that you're saying

felt like a faint candle light

 

So, just let it go

just say bye to me

it's the time to admit

we are still living in separate worlds

and neither holds the key

 

我不明白她言语中的意思

不想要知道她所暗示的情绪

 

梦见一家旅店的99号和103号房间

就固执的认为这样详细的数字必有深意

 

我所知道的事情

时光流转青春渐逝

只是在某天我开始了自言自语

我所爱的人都不在身边

得不到善意的回应

没有人认真在听

我是在这时候开始了自言自语

从此再也没有

一个寂寞寒冷的日子

催人泪下

 

 

 

 

不能在乎曾经在乎的

不想在乎值得在乎的 

现在

是一种过去的将来时态

是一种将来的过去时态

所以

活在当下是

这样混淆

为什么会这样

我所有的怀疑,在她看着我的时候

她无意中触碰我的时候

如同呕吐物一样从胃的底部向口腔翻涌

 

不能不转移的话题

刻意避开的问题

是不是又一次证明了我的虚伪和天真

一无所有的孩子

你又在害怕什么

 

有一类东西

拿的越多越感到羞愧软弱

拿的越多越对它产生依赖执迷

它是一种低等而绝望的爱情

不胜言辞,不堪剖析,不能生存

是秘密的念头在眼睛后面一闪而过

连自己都很难发觉

 

我已经彻底失去了与他人相处的力气

最糟的是

我已经彻底失去了与他人相处的倾向

在他们向我诉说之后

在他们反反复复的拨打我的号码之后

在他们讲完了冗长的仿佛永不完结的故事之后

在他们睁大了眼睛等着我的回应时

我微笑着沉默置疑:

...So?...what's your point?...

...

 

I'm waiting for you

I'm waiting for a phone call that I knew will never come indeed

I'm waiting for a piece of text message from your number

I'm waiting for an email with your name on it

 

I forgot to invite you to my place

when you were standing at my door

I forgot if I'd invited you to my heart

It doesn't seems to be a matter anymore

 

Where you thought should be an end

it surely was the end of our story

only, I hope there would be something left

just a little, to be stored in my memory

 

That is it, I guess

It's not even the first time I got betrayed

I'm still grateful to be conscious with who you are

At the end, yet it was not too late

 

 

Maroon 5...actually...

I just dislike the chinese translation,

magic red band?! what the f...

 

This love. Hard to breath. Wake up call.

The video of Makes Me Wonder rocks to hell.

It makes me come just by hearing Adam's voice.

No kidding

 

repeating... ...

 

 

很快开始的夏天

每天14个小时都在学校

再坚强的心脏也不能抵御冷气侵袭

穿起扯得宽大的T恤

窄小黑色牛仔裤

磨歪了后跟的脏球鞋

黑樱桃色指甲油

好像小朋克

I had this dream about hiding.

In the dream I killed somebody and couldn't find a place to hide.

I was questioned by the polices, but I didn't come up with any excuse.

That's because I was freaking nervous.

A sound kept repeating in my mind:

You killed that person...u did it...u did it...u did it...

 

I saw some big luggage in the living room

What's up?

They said that they're going to New York for 2 weeks.

What about me?

Where should I go, where should I live, how could I go to school without a car?

There were too many questions you guys left over.

 

Then she said

 

I knew I should be.

Only, I'm not ready yet.

Shame on me.

从学校出来等808路公共汽车

她和姓段的女人在我身后不停讲话

你都能听得出来她们开心的要死

而我身边是一个在我看来完全不会去谈恋爱的女生

跟我喋喋不休的抱怨她的男朋友

她还告诉我另一个女生,简直和她一模一样的女生

她的感情生活也出了问题

好不容易上了车, 竟然有一个座位,我太想坐下来了

可是旁边的女生就是不愿意把她的脏脚挪开

她妈的

这是一个向三八妇女节致敬的梦

 

 

 

This woman could be my nightmare for good.

 

It's only 8:00 in this peaceful friday morning, she went into my room,

settled her fucking fat ass in the lousy sofa,

(which she replaced with a nice blue one a hundred years ago)

and strated to tape recording a fucking weird conversation.

It could be hardly called a conversation anyways,

she was freaking kidding me.

I was afraid she could sit there for ever and talk her head off about

some fucking magnificent thoughts she had come up with.

 

I just laid on my messy bed like a fucking dead body.

I heard every tiny sound the son of a bitch made:

the running of the type recorder;

the sound from the paper of her manuscript when she turned the page...

I wished that I could be a real dead person at this point.

All of a sudden, I remembered this dream I had last night.

In the dream I was trying to have sex with a girl I barely know.

Can this situation be any worse?!

 

Fine, I changed my mind multi-million times.

How could a normal person making such a big deal out of that shit!

She is insane, that crazy fucking bitch.

I've tried so hard to make up the mistakes I made.

What she's been doing is to tell me that the relationship between us

could never ever be fixed or rebuild.

All right. If that's what you want.

... ...

 

I can stop trying. I shouldn't try at all.

Fuck this freaking gross sadistic abnormal couple!

I borrowed the book from library again.

The Catcher in The Rye.

Then I picked up one more, Nine stories.

Do I love his work!

 

I had a fancy book written by Salinger when I was home.

But I've never been this eager to read it

as much as I am now.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

今天的查经班讲了肋未记里的九个章节

有人说

为什么天主要定这些繁文缛节的规矩呢?

 

其实订立规矩的那一位

是把事情变的简单了

履行规矩的人

就不再需要创造力

 

上帝造人

教人生存

人却以为自己才是上帝

我梦见如此美丽的一个女孩

她的鼻子非常锐利

其实醒来的时候已经记不起她究竟是不是

美丽的女孩

可是我记得她的鼻子

 

我对她说:

 

 

When I was wandering along the Jeffery Street

Nobody saw me there

If I got a few bucks in my pocket

I would definitely leave here  

 

When I was wandering along the Jeffery Street

I'd searched the mall and found no cigarette

How hollow I was back to that moment

I could even filled up with smoke

 

When I was wandering along the Jeffery Street

I finally got a mass of vapor between my fingers

That's the moment I realized where I was

Right here, across the ocean

in the middle of a smogless December

 

Busy days drive me crazy.

I couldn't wait to leave this life behind me.

Somehow, all of a sudden,

everything just changed.

 

Who cares?

Things never be the way they meant to be.

And we will never be the people that we wanna be.

 

I say,

NEVER. That's all.

 

 

 

小小软软的粉红色婴儿

俯卧在一块铁板上

被推入正在冒火的烤箱

我是负责拧升温器旋钮的人

梦里

我是没有血性和良心的纳粹

 

数字不断攀升

小婴儿在灼烧中却安然睡去

它不曾发出任何声音

 

我从来都为奇怪的事耿耿于怀

 

比如

在整个考试期间担心一个单字的拼写错误

以致不能解答其他的问题

比如

在练习合唱曲目的时候因为有人弄不懂节奏

而感到气愤想摔门走人

 

常常被一些不相干的事所困扰

也用别人的错误责怪自己

永远都身处遗憾和痛悔之中